shaivism: SHIVA'S SMOULDERING SOUL

Slowly Shiva walked outside to the lawns and approached the Havan. He was overwhelmed with remorse for Sati.
He fell on His knees, near what was once His beloved Sati but now a smouldering heap, a pyre that was forever to remain Shiva’s sorrow. Nandi came and stood next to Him.He was also weeping inconsolably. “Ambe!” Shiva yelled Her name, which He often referred to Her, as Mother of His tribes.
On hearing this, the ganas started to cry in chorus, “Jai Shiv Shanker Jai Shiv Shanker Babham Bhayankar Jai Shiv Shanker Jai Ambe Jai Jagad Ambe!”
Bhola or Bhooth, He was their Nath forever.

Shiva picked up Sati’s body, placed it on His lap and said softly, “Sati!! Sati!! Sati!!” He had often done that when she used to lie asleep in their cave, waking her up with his whispers. This time, the call did not awaken Her. She seemed so awake, even through death,such was the beauty of life that She had virtually embodied till now.
Till now She had had a body, and now She was dead, and gone. The impact shook Shiva and as it shook Him, the world shook. How could this be possible? Something had gone terribly, terribly wrong: Gods were not supposed to die.
Sati, wake up, wake up Sati, talk to me. Why don’t you talk to me? Sati, we are Humesha, remember? You said you wanted to be with me forever.
Here I am, with you! But…where are you? Sati!! Sateee!!!”
He buckled down further,rocking her despondently even as He looked skywards and screamed Her name again and again inconsolably. He ranted His torment, burying His head in Her face as if to escape the stark reality of this abandoned love.
The terrifying pain of having to face the future without His precious Shakti. His reason . His Cause. Sati, oh Sateee!
The Lord of the Universe was crying like the simplest, most fragile mortal.

He felt like a mortal: fragile and helpless.
All the rishis, the ladies, courtesans, and everyone present, without exception found tears rolling down their own cheeks in an overwhelming empathy. The ganas, who had by now stopped fighting also wailed loudly.

Then He arose, and lifted the body of Sati from the smouldering remains, and readied Himself to take her back to Kailash, where she belonged eternally by His side. He started to walk away from the palace lawns towards his own mountains. The fumes of the Havan offerings, of ghee and samagri were, strangely irritating Him, having being associated with the departure of Sati, rather than any auspicious foreboding or invocation.

He, the great God Shiva, could not bring Her back to life, after She chose to self-destruct, but what He could do, was to destroy the entire Universe.He saw the smouldering Havan smoke even from the distance and knew at that moment, that His own internal smouldering would be forever.