Shaivism Today Soul Speak ( 3 ) The woman behind the man.

The one person that Shiva loved meeting in this cosmic mind field, the one person whose memory He would not allow to fade even when they were not together, was, unchallengeably, His Woman. In a whole universe that had been projected by Him, She was the one being He loved immensely.
Parvati, His inseparable better-half.
Parvati, without whom, Shiva felt like ‘not Shiva’.
Parvati, without whom, Shiva didn’t feel anything at all.
Parvati, without whom, the Seers summarized, “He was Shava, a corpse.”
And without whom, as He Himself told Her once, ‘Nothing’, was actually possible.
And just as great an enigma as He was, so too was Parvati. It was She who was Sati, in a previous life. She it was, who was Shakti, the Goddess of power, in eternal wedlock with Shiva, making Him Shaktiman, the wielder of all the power there was in the Universe. She was always present in His presence. Even if that meant being reincarnated from one lifetime to another.

These lines from my book  SHIVA, The Ultimate Time Traveller.  have been read and appreciated by many, over the past four years , when it was first published. It’s  gratifying for an author to get complimented for his thoughts expressed through his writings, but I now want to take this further on The Shaivism Today blog for an important extension :
How does Shiva's life thousands of years ago affect us in our own daily lives today?

For this, we must first understand that Shiva is different when He is alone, and different when he is with Parvati. By Himself he is a great meditator, a great warrior, a great dancer, a great chieftain. But when He is with Parvati, His meditations are translated to welfare of the world, His might is used to restore order by vanquishing  Rakshasas who have gone astray, His Tandava is not Raudra  Tandava-the dance of destruction, but Ananda Tandav-the dance of joy; and lastly, He is no longer the aloof God somewhere in a Himalayan cave, but a fond father- Kulapati to all the ganas of Kailash and the very Universe.
So we see through all the stories and narrations that Parvati  gets out the best version of Shiva, who is already the best of all! She fulfills Him and His greatness, and we salute her as His Ardhaangani.

As the Vedas teach us , 'Yatha pinde tatha brahmande, yatha brahmande tatha pinde', meaning, “As is the individual, so is the universe, as is the universe, so is the individual” or that if you understand one, you understand the other. And actually, the beauty of the stories of ancient Hindu  Gods  is exactly this:  Much can be derived out of those stories that has a relevance for us even in these contemporary times. Don’t we have a phrase "My better half" which is usually spoken as a salute to one's wife while introducing her to someone ? This is Ardhaangani, the better half, exactly.

You must also have heard the phrase 'Behind every successful man there is a strong woman'. This is so true.  Look around yourself for examples and you will come up with not just wives of Kings in the past, Rani Padmini, wife of Rawal Ratan singh ( Chittorh ), Ahilya bai Holkar, Queen of Khanderao Holkar ( Indore) and of course Rani Joda Bai wife of Emperor Akbar amongst a galaxy of others. But again, even this is true in modern times: Wives of statesmen and political leaders have been known for their  contributions, like  Hillary Clinton, a political figure in her own right, Coretta Scott King ,wife of  Martin Luther King Jr , Michelle Obama , Wife of President  Barrack Obama. And amazingly, it's true even if you venture into the field of music - Yoko Ono wife of John Lenon, who helped him create his most famous song ,' Imagine'.
It holds true even with writers . Did you know that Lillian Disney  wife of Walt Disney  helped him to name the famous character Mickey , otherwise you would have had Mortimor mouse! In the field of science too ,we know Marie Curie, pioneer in radioactivity was married to scientist Pierre curie, But did we know that Gabrielle Émilie de Breteuil, married to the great french historian and philosopher Voltaire was herself  a natural philosopher, mathematician, physicist, and author!

So, the fact is, that if you are married to someone who is your perfect soulmate, She will make you grow like you could never have done on your own. She will actually double your achievements  by always being with you through your decisions. She will enhance your basic goodness, your traits, your attitude and appearance to others, by being your personal critic and even teacher. We often hear that wives tutor their husbands against their old norms and this is when they take them away from their past affiliations.
There is a different way to ‘see’ this. We have thus far, been so used to our own environment that we are no longer capable to ‘see’ any faults in it, we are therefore never going to be able to improve it. Ask any writer, he must always get someone else to check and edit his writing, because once he has written it, and just suppose there is a spelling mistake in his text, he will never be able to detect it! This is natural, it’s the way our mind works: It cannot detect its own mistake shortly after it is committed. And though, in these modern times we have things like  auto correct, spellcheck , and voice commands ( auto dictate ) etc  for the purpose of writing, there are some things technology cannot do for you!

Technology cannot think like a Co-human, it cannot know your innermost Self, and why you react the way you do to certain situations. Only a loving soulmate can both know that, and also tell you how to change that in a future response.
So never think of your woman as just a housewife, never aspire for her to just look after your home when she can actually more importantly ‘look after’ your very soul, your growth, your evolution, and help you to upgrade to the very best version of yourself. Do not wish for Her to be a demure partner who will say ‘Yes’ to your every thought, but rather one who will engage you in a healthy debate to hone that original thought  to a more Universal view.

I once read something long back which described exactly what is true for a soulmate . ‘ I love you not only for what you are, but also for what i am , when i am with you'.  For my own part I must say that my wife Simmi has been my best friend and soulmate through 35 years of marriage. Through thick and thin, through loss or a win, Happy times, sad times, funny times, trying times, and of course, 'Together times', It' been fantastic. And yes, it was She who asked for me to write a blog on Shiva, which has a relevant meaning in our own lives!
                                              
In the end I will leave you to view this picture of Shivji . It always makes me smile with the thought : Who’s are the hands behind Shiva’s back? We are used to thinking of Him as one with many hands, especially when we see His depictions like this. But consider for a moment that it may just be a great woman at His back, the woman who is actually the Great Mother of all, Durga Parvati!
Aum Namah Shivaye.
~ Shail Gulhati